Things I would rather be doing than studying for finals right now:

  • Sleeping
  • Eating
  • Hot-tubbing
  • Snuggling with my cat
  • Snuggling with a friendly bear
  • Riding an elephant
  • Surfing the internet (I may be doing that anyways)
  • Learning sign language
  • Inventing a new flavor of jelly bean
  • Bringing apple-bottom jeans back in fashion (were they ever?)
  • Helping a squirrel find his acorns (they lose 50% of them, you know)
  • Re-enacting scenes from Zenon Z3
  • Planning a trip to Antarctica
  • Driving a smart car in tiny circles
  • Finding out if Polar Bears really enjoy Coca-Cola as much as Coca-Cola commercials lead me to believe
  • Whale-watching with Tina Fey
  • Proving pythagorean theorem
  • Interviewing Voldemort (60-minute style)
  • High-fiving strangers
  • Braiding the dreadlocks of my giant Rastafarian banana, Ben-Jammin’
  • Knitting tiny hats for pre-mature babies
  • Playing connect the dots with all of my freckles
  • Using sharpies on whiteboards
  • Speaking only in movie quotes for the rest of the day
  • Karaoke
  • Racing hamsters
  • Becoming a pirate
  • Convincing spiders to go extinct
  • Rebalancing the food chain after spiders go extinct
  • Attempting backflips into bodies of water
  • Trying to change the color of a mood ring with my mood
  • Rubbing the real Buddha’s belly
  • Asking old couples how they met
  • Blogging (obviously)
  • Teaching someone how to dougie
  • Perhaps learning myself how to dougie
  • Taking a ginger on an adventure
  • Finding my fish a steady girlfriend
  • Looking at Google Images of Hawaii
  • Paint by numbers
  • Lighting my split ends on fire (fire hazard)
  • Freak dancing to no music
  • Getting drunk

If you don’t agree with at least 3 things on this list then you are not a human being or you can’t read.


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