Things I would rather be doing than studying for finals right now:

• Sleeping
• Eating
• Hot-tubbing
• Snuggling with my cat
• Snuggling with a friendly bear
• Riding an elephant
• Surfing the internet (I may be doing that anyways)
• Learning sign language
• Inventing a new flavor of jelly bean
• Bringing apple-bottom jeans back in fashion (were they ever?)
• Helping a squirrel find his acorns (they lose 50% of them, you know)
• Re-enacting scenes from Zenon Z3
• Planning a trip to Antarctica
• Driving a smart car in tiny circles
• Finding out if Polar Bears really enjoy Coca-Cola as much as Coca-Cola commercials lead me to believe
• Whale-watching with Tina Fey
• Proving pythagorean theorem
• Interviewing Voldemort (60-minute style)
• High-fiving strangers
• Braiding the dreadlocks of my giant Rastafarian banana, Ben-Jammin’
• Knitting tiny hats for pre-mature babies
• Playing connect the dots with all of my freckles
• Using sharpies on whiteboards
• Speaking only in movie quotes for the rest of the day
• Karaoke
• Racing hamsters
• Becoming a pirate
• Convincing spiders to go extinct
• Rebalancing the food chain after spiders go extinct
• Attempting backflips into bodies of water
• Trying to change the color of a mood ring with my mood
• Rubbing the real Buddha’s belly
• Asking old couples how they met
• Blogging (obviously)
• Teaching someone how to dougie
• Perhaps learning myself how to dougie
• Taking a ginger on an adventure
• Finding my fish a steady girlfriend
• Looking at Google Images of Hawaii
• Paint by numbers
• Lighting my split ends on fire (fire hazard)
• Freak dancing to no music
• Getting drunk

If you don’t agree with at least 3 things on this list then you are not a human being or you can’t read.